The Story of VicTheHobo

Meet VicTheHobo, my Victoria Island locked shop-free Ironman. After recently getting bored of my Dark Knight I decided to up the ante to forge my own journey from scratch. No trading with other players, no NPC shops, no taxis, but this time I can't leave Victoria Island. All leading up to eventually taking on one of Victoria Island's biggest challenges: the Jr. Balrog.

Isn't he a handsome little bugger? Just ignore the smell.

Oh, and by the way, I'll be collecting every single card on Victoria Island, all the way up to the sp00ky Jr. Balrog.

...Potion drops will be very important if I'm going to be living for a long time, because I cannot use shops the only ones available are from quests and drops(Shop-owners shove me out with a broom, usually after the initial shock of the terrible smell )

The first difficult choice of the game. Potions, or filling an equipment slot? These are the decisions that keep me up at night.

Defense OP.

A very important item for surviving long term, I can now heal affordably and look damn fashionable doing it. Pio looks like his nose puckered back inside of his face. Poor guy.

Do you see that? I just hit a seven. Seven. This damned dirty hobo is getting pretty stab-happy with his new poking stick.

The pigs weren't happy about getting stabbed. Need to recover.

First set - complete! Only a bunch more to go. Too bad this murder-hobo has a hard time counting, he has no idea how many cards he needs.

Now that's a knife. 22 attack over 20? I can probably hit eights now.

Vic has managed to accrue much loot on his stay on Maple Island, after pilfering as many boxes as he could. But now it's time to move on to his new forever home.

It was a quick journey, but still just long enough for the entire crew to hate this bastard hobo. From chewing loudly with his mouth open to his loud, jeering laughter, he found a way to nearly get thrown off the friendly ship that has taken thousands across the water.

My money is no good here. He said there was no way I could cover the cost of damages done to his upholstery if I were to sit in his cab.

Not even the big snail wants to see me

Progress has been made! We're nearing our destination, the city where the homeless flock to.

Ah yes, the mean streets of the hood, where I will do the majority of my stabbing and murder-hoboing.

I met a man who convinced me to turn to a life of crime. Since nobody wants this murder hobo around I may as well turn to the dark side.

He taught me how to better avoid people. Maybe they'll be less put off by my scent with enough avoidability. He also taught me the importance of the double-tap with a knife. That's twice as many stabs per minute! The stab happy hobo is pleased.

Look at those stabs. He smells blood in the water.

Stabbing is hard work though

I think he'll make due though.

And there are plenty more potions to earn! Why is that text red though?

Final stats and gear at the end of part 1. He'll make a mighty fine murder-hobo one day, and will pilfer and steal to accomplish his goals.

If you find him on feel free to add him to a guild. Don't expect him to stay too long though, he's a migratory species and can't be held down to one place. Add him to friends too if you'd like.

Oh, and by the way, if you catch him outside of Victoria Island and whisper him, I'll give you 50 million mesos. Or a 12 attack glove if I don't have that many mesos at the moment. Catch him if you can.

 

We begin a new day after doing a bit of research into how to get new weapons. There are a few daggers I can get, with the highest level dagger coming from the fearsome Jr. Balrog, except of course if I get really lucky in the gachapon.

Shrooms and Stumps, 2 mobs I can kill with ease, and I can only hope they drop me a big upgrade from the 22 attack knife I've been using since Maple Island.

My hopes and dreams rest on these stupid fellows. No doubt thousands will die.

RIP Moob's vote streak. It's time to take my profession as a hobo more seriously.

Is there a god? I'm not sure anymore.

I was joined by a lord of choas, whatever that means. He has the hard slaps, KSed me all to shit with his powerful moves.

The final thief training session is rough on my frail cardboard body, you can see the light leave me. No doubt I used like 20 potions in this kill pile, but it was worth it for the solid exp.

The Dark Lord has given me a great boon: Return Scrolls. These are a very limited resource so I'll have to use them very carefully. But now his training sessions are over and I must find other quests to do.

This one will do fine.

My first gachapon ticket. These will be key in trying to scroll anything I have or even getting new equips. I'm gonna toss them all in Kerning City for that hot 35% thief boost in items.

A minute later and there's a second, even better ticket!

Ended up settling here to farm the slimes for the kid. There's a good amount of random mobs, including a lot of Shrooms for the coveted dagger drop. Also great for getting random cards.

Made it to level 15. I'm now free to fame anyone who recognizes this nub. :^)

Gachapon tickets spent, and my luck is amazing! Shield attack 70%! ez upgrades

Good thing I still have my shield from Maple Island. Totes made the right choice

Fuck 70s.

Accepted, but still noping right out of trying to kill those. They'll end me if I don't have a shield to defend myself with.

Killing stuff on the road to Heneseys, make sure you take breaks from playing often.

Temptresses, the lot of you. VIC WALKS ALONE! YOU CANNOT TEMPT HIM WITH CHOCOLATES!

Killed some shrooms for this dude, didn't offer much great loot. At least I have a large supply of potions now, but I feel like they won't last long in the grand scheme of things.

This dude always gives the easiest experience of my life. Totally worth the walk to Nautilus.

He brought me to level 16 with a ton of change leftover. Also The reward says it gives 5 Nautilus scrolls but it gave me 10. Smh so many bugs. Red quest text? Giving 5 more scrolls? fix yer game.

Only the nimbly-bimbliest of bodies. May people avoid my terrible scent.

I'd help this dolphin but ngl I have no idea how to get a Mana Elixer at this point. So suffer on, narwhal king. There were a few other quests in here but they'll probably get ignored for a while because Ribbon Pigs are spooky and hit me for like 70.

There was a dude afk here. Don't worry, I killed the monsters that were harassing this poor pirate.

It failed btw. 4 slot shoes master race. The avoid would have been nice though.

The very first upgraded piece of equipment dropped from a monster!

Ho boy is it juicy. 14 defense? That's an 11 defense improvement. I don't even miss my 5 defense shield anymore. Gonna have to put in 5 dex when I level up.

He was still there like 20 minutes after I found him so I decided to send him safely back to town. How magnanimous of me.

Great success. He'll be safely in town where no more mobs will bother him.

Level 17! Great success, with much accomplished today.

Nice big defense boost, and also improved my ability to stab stuff. Much gooder. Level 4 Double Stab is the highest I can get with it while still only costing 8 mp(Though the tooltip says it costs 6, it never did) and I'll probably keep it there for a while to not overdo it on the MP usage.

This is where this fierce murder hobo ends it today. Tomorrow there'll probably be a lot of farming of stumps in Perion for the Triangular Zamadar.

 

Having a lot of fun, even without a lot of success, so I played a lot more today.

Got some earrings with a solid 0 magic defense on them. Very nice. Now I have something else to ruin with random 10% scrolls. Also it was a double equip, you can see a little bit of a wand under the snail shell.

Onward to Ellinia. Tired of the pigs and whatnot, their card droprate is pretty terrible and it's only the ribbon pigs that drop a new pair of pants for me.

Killed like 5 slimes and got 3 cards. Now that's some RNG I can appreciate. Except for when I have to start murdering mobs that are his level, then it'll suck. This frail hobo body cannot handle much.

Easy exp, started his quest and already had all of the garbo for him. Too bad there's not much else to start in Ellinia just yet.

On to Perion and edge-smashing as many of these stupid things as I can. Vic would like to flex that 19 damage, it's actually quite high for him vs these tanks. The 1 damage is much more common.

And here we have some grave danger. Upon entering the portal here, I was flung off the ledge by a snail, leaving me to run to safety as fast as I could.

There was sweet revenge to be had on the snails. For generations they'll speak of not only the harm done, but also the methods: the dull butterknife used to slaughter their kin, the smell that now permeates through the generations, the strange plastic bag upon his head.

It's not really plastic, just stylized grease and matted hair to form a protective shell over the skull. It also prevents mind-reading by lizard people.

...The dark ones are still a little tough for the poor guy. He may be a higher level than them, but his level 5 rusty butterknife doesn't pierce their shell. He needs their knife drop.

44 is good damage for a level 18, right? He can KO stumps...

It went as expected.

Stump genocide gets quite boring eventually, but I do it for her.

Taking a break from that to see about crafting gear. I may not be able to buy stuff, but I never made any stipulations about creating it.

This is just a really cool looking place. Good place for sitting. He didn't make anything good though, but he will make iron boar hooves into steel plates. Not that that is actually useful to me.

JM doesn't approve of murder-hoboing either. I guess you can't make daggers, and the gloves are really material intensive for minimal defense.

These are always fun.

JK all they do is hurt me. Moments later I dropped most of the equipment in my inventory for some KPQ nubs. FEAST!

Blue Mushrooms will be a very important mob. They drop a couple hats and a couple daggers, and chances are I'll be grinding on them for a while later on.

This map west of Perion is probably my favorite stump hunting grounds. Most of the mobs are easy to kill, and the ones that aren't can be avoided.
Grats on the marriage, lean.

...It takes a lot of stumps to level at this point. They offer 16 exp btw, so it takes like 800 stumps/snails to level. This is one sticky hobo.

Monster Book progress. 3 sets down, a ton more to go. I really want to find more Shrooms for their drops. 3/5 of their equips are upgrades for me.

But for now a change of location was needed. You don't want to see the sweat reservoir in that cardboard box. Perion is spicy af and it's only made the smell problem worse.

A number of quests need these ribbon piggies, and exp is always good, so time to splurge on some potions.

RIP those HP potions. Time to dip into the 300 red potions I've collected.

...Not sure how I feel about this. Still looking for a replacement Stolen Fence from some variation of stump or a panlid from green mushrooms. I can't boom with 2 70s in a row, right?

Help, I've fallen and I can't get up. Someone get this geezer a life-alert.

Ahhh, we all know he'd just use it to talk to whoever is at the other end about conspiracy theories and other nonsense.

Destination achieved. And he only fell in the big scary pit with the Stone Golem that hits me for 280 damage once.

Level 20 achieved, with a hand too slow to press the printscreen button. He might be leaking into my mind and making me not all there.

With this lesser existence between realities the smell has improved dramatically.

This poking stick is too big for his frail arms. I'll trade it for a fame to anyone who finds this hobo out in the wilds.

Well, stumps didn't really work out so I might as well move on to Blue Mushrooms. Level 20 and 35 hats and level 15 and 32 daggers. If I can get any of those I'd be fairly hyped. I think their best map has a lot of Shrooms too for added chances at goodness.

 

It's time for Part 4: Rise of the Upgrades

But first of all it's time to spend the daily NX. Basic face isn't right, it looks almost *normal*.

Yes Doctor Feeble, I want this more than anything else in the world. Licenses are for squares anyways.

It's perfect.

Time to spend hours equipment hunting in the hidden street located right here.

It has Shrooms, Red Snails, and Orange Mushrooms. I still need the latter two's cards, so it's pretty efficient to be here.

Solid luck right off the bat.

BAM! Upgrade of the century! You see this level 15 knife? It's a dopamine rush you can't even imagine.

It may be 1 attack under average, but it's still a 7 attack buff. Massive, now it's mostly 2ko's rather than 3ko's on these orange mushrooms.

What this dagger has done for my damage. Easy max hits. Almost able to 1ko Orange Mushrooms and their 80 HP.

Just go ham now. The rusty butterknife is no more, and what it lacks in Tetanus damage it makes up for in inside-fluid-becoming-outside-fluid damage.

Drop after drop here, just ignore the long periods of time where nothing happens that I don't show you.

Another upgrade! They keep rolling in. That's another 3 defense and 2 speed.

The damage is solid. Too solid actually.

Double Stab doesn't do anything that it says it does. Level 7 costs nine MP, not seven, and it deals more than 100% damage, not 84%. Fix yer game, Kim.

This was a long time considering I needed like 20k exp and Orange Mushrooms have 30 exp. You don't want to know my exp/minute. I don't either, that's why I didn't measure it.

Kim: wE dOn'T hAvE aNy PaY tO wIn
Also Kim:

...I'm tempted to donate so I can get this chair. But it's Pay2win which is bad. Though it would be a massive upgrade over the Relaxers 50 HP and 4 MP recovery. Yeah, 4 mp, it's weird.

Progress is getting there on the Monster Book. The Orange Mushrooms and Red Snails have some really tough drop rates. Probably killed 1k+ Orange Mushrooms and many more Red Snails than that.

REAL SHIT

It's wonderful. Average is 13 defense, and I rolled a 15? Can you feel it? Can you feel the dopamine rush of some hard earned pants?

And while testing these new pants another gacha. The old brown pants still freshly sitting on the rope.

Lucky that rope doesn't melt. You know what they say about brown pants, and these ones were worn

I left my old home, and who do I find outside the map but my arch nemesis, the Lord Of Choas. I don't know what nefarious things he's been plotting, but clearly he's just stolen a woman's purse. What a deviant.

It's time to circle the world and accept a bunch of quests. It's honestly the only way I can get more than a single level per part.

Chef Mike always got my back with his goodies.

Click the first cow three times for an easy 40%. That's like an hour of mushrooms.

Another solid exp fellow. Too bad the things he wants me to kill still sound tough, but I plan on going to Green Mushrooms soon anyways for a Panlid, and there are like 4 quests that need them.

Very solid gacha run. Something I can use right now for 5 more defense and 4 more speed? Amazing upgrade. And a cape luk 30%, clearly something I'll throw on the first cape I get. I'll do it for the Vine.

I kinda want to know who installed all of this into a subway. For real though.

Easy exp though.

Damn girl, 30 Ellinia Return Scrolls? Now that's a solid reward, I can now zip and zoom across the map. Or at least to Ellinia and Nautilus. The rest is still a pain.

Round the world I go, Heneseys and Mano bound at the moment, this dirty bum hits level 23. That's pretty cash money.

Nice, that dude who just hunts Mano isn't around.

It was a difficult battle, one with a few potions used, but Vic was victorious. Grats to this spaghetti armed little bitch.

What do I even do with money? I guess I'll buy fame.

Final stats at the end of this part. Massive progress made. Three whole upgrades? It's a dream come true.

That's it for today. At least I think so. Might come back later to do that one Henesey Marble quest and to hunt down a bunch of Green Mushrooms for the Panlid. Maybe Blue Mushrooms too for the chance at an upgraded Field Dagger and some 2nd job equips.

 

Another installment, and let me tell you, things are starting to feel really slow. You honestly don't want to know much time I've spent on this character, especially considering how little he has. It'll all be worth it next year though.

But first, a little information:

I did count the number of different mobs on Victoria Island, and it came out to be like 65 or so. So when he's finished he'll have a tier 2 ring. A small boost for sure, but big street cred to this cretin. Also I remembered that Ergoth has a card from GPQ, but I think he will get ignored because the only method to collecting those cards would be rather cheesy and involve getting carried. I could get carried, but that's not really in the ironman spirit, and I doubt he'll be defeat able to someone who only planned on making it to level 7x or 8x and with only 2nd job skills.

That's right, I won't be advancing to 3rd job. It's not on Victoria, so 2nd job is my cap. Once he has all of the cards though, he will become a regular Chief Bandit though and I'll try to play him as a normie. Shadower always looked cool.

Other than that, I also need to collect King Slime cards. But once again, I don't want to be carried, that would be cheating, so I'll be posting a couple mules in Kerning City PQ and soloing all of the alligators for the 2 coupons, and soloing all of the Curse Eyes/Jr. Neckis/King Slime in the final stage. May my card drop rate be gud. One thing that'll make it easier is that I will be going in and out of the PQ to get low numbers of alligators. I'll probably start doing that once I hit level 30. Hopefully I won't have to kill myself much from the exp gains.

Now time for some progress:

JK I saw Doggo was hosting an event, so I ran in from Heneseys. These will be hard to catch unless I'm already posted in Heneseys, so gotta do them when I can.

This is my hobo crew. Shoutout to the geezers, we run the streets. Or at least we think we still do, Alzheimers and all that.

Doggo is not a kind god. I think I understand some of the platform hit zones though, maybe I'll do better in the future.

I was blessed on this day. Someone used a bear, and now I strike like a normie. Gotta take advantage of this.

But first I need to talk to this guy for Maya the "sick" in Heneseys. I don't know what sort of medicine you're offering, but you really don't look like a doctor.

Just look at that damage. I'm stabbing with the strength of 2 hobos. This is where I spend my hearty party bear, and this is a party they did not appreciate.

I found a broken Green Mushroom. I can't hit him and he can't hit me. Or maybe Vic is just hallucinating again, he has been licking the walls.

Thanks for the ice I guess. Honestly I've played this game far too much and I still have no idea what it's for. Someone enlighten me. Also level 24, things are looking pretty lit around here. This would be impressive if I were 11 again playing with other 11 year-olds.

I get the feeling that this bitch trying to summon Cthulu or something. Whatever, Maya needs her "medicine".

I can't be bothered to do any more walking though, I just wanna kill some Blue Mushrooms.

Nice. Always kill random mobs.

Inventory is a mess, time to get rid of my collection of snail shells and whatnot. Also turning in quests because there's far too much stuff that might be useful. This is the problem with being homeless, you can't be a hoarder. Vic needs his pizza boxes full of piss.

Utah always has the easy exp. Vic has a "use" for illustrations of pigs. He gets very lonely.

I really like this map. If I stay on the bottom level the spawn is very manageable too. That's the key to all of Vic's success, stay out of death pits.

RIP beginner MP pots. You gave me so much MP from level 10-24.

I didn't stay on the bottom level. Life is hard when your potions heal 50 and your enemies hit 71.

But don't worry, Vic is strong! He gets right back up again and goes back to killing!

Protip: If you're a pussy you can hide in a corner and they can't reach you. They jump before they get you.

All finished. Blue Mushrooms are still much too tough for me, I'll have to come back and farm them later. There's also no safe sitting spots in the map, so I had to use a ton of potions.

You probably don't want to know how much time I usually spend sitting. 10/10 chill maple experience though.

I love surprises.

I don't think this counts as a surprise though.

Easy potions. I might have to start using these once I hit level 30.

Going deep to get the 99 mushroom quests. Vic also needs 40 Charms of the Undead for Manji so he'd give us Arcon's Blood. Who knows what that freak will summon with the charms, all this chaos just so that Maya can have a little glug glug.

Oh, perfect, now I can go back to the first map. Walking would take too long.

There we go. A little internal bleeding later and we're back in Sleepywood, ready to farm in the closest map rather than this one. It was worth it.

Vic shall live forever with all of these potions! That's 30,000 HP worth!

I will admit the stacks of potions are shrinking though. Maybe a better chair will be released for the 4th anniversary.
It'll probably take the full 999 before I get a panlid. You think ToT is slow? Try doing this with only a single target attack, minimal defense, and no viable recovery for hp and mp.

Taking a shortcut through the dungeon to get to Perion. It is shorter, and with Dark Sight nearly maxed it's easy to get through all of the tough mobs.

Arcon Blood is finished so now I just need some Cthulian scraps.

Not gonna lie, I'm actually really happy about this pie. A fifty defense buff is really strong.

Just need the leaves after some uneventful octopi. These guys are really slow which makes them easy to take down. The octopi on the other hand loved to quickly swarm and get their squirmy tentacles all over my body and orifices.

Vic got Teo his "rock" so now I can trade it for his "medicine". Maya will be really happy.

I know you come here for the quality bossing content.

You're welcome, Teo, just be careful with the processing of the rock, heard the fumes might get you.

Bam. It was all worth it. Quite a long quest but with a very nice reward. +10 defense and +3 luk over my normal hat.

Most slots are now filled with new equipment. All that's left to get is a cape, a Panlid, maybe some gloves, and maybe some Weighted Earrings. Those are my short term goals, but in the meantime, I'll just soak in the warmth of Maya's house as she lays passed out from the doctor's medicine. Maybe even crap in a toilet for once.

 

Oof. Been a few days, been a little busy over the weekend, and some issues popped up while playing Vic. Entirely because I bite off more than I can chew, but issues nevertheless.

Starting off in Kerning City, with a distinct lack of KPQers. Not that I'd join them anyways.

This hat works with my outfit much better. More crazy hobo, less mysterious outcast.

Bubblings are some of the least friendly mobs to kill. They actually have a minimum kickback, so much of the time they brushed past my puny strikes and steamrolled right into me. Vic could only kill like 20 before giving up.

Stumps are much more Vic's speed. He has a lot of time to react to their slow speeds, so he doesn't feel too overwhelmed.

I'm glad other freaks like Vic exist. Grats to Lyss. Also decided to test out exp for those of you who are morbidly curious to know what I'm working with here. 20k exp per hour, and that's without using MP.

When I liberally apply MP potions I can achieve 40k exp per hour. That's almost a single level in an hour. Impressive, no?

Gotta be efficient, so I only put 2 SP into Double Stab. The third would have been another MP per cast, and we can't have that.

Probably one of my favorite quests to go through. Have to go all throughout Victoria and talk to a number of people. It actually feels like a quest when you don't just spam Return Scrolls/Taxis. Who'd have thunk?

My inventory was full, so I thought I'd just drop it all in a big line. Goodbye useless equips.

Grats to this dude on Ice/Lightning. Got to talk to him for a while.

I used to hate this part, but then I realized these plants drop potions pretty commonly. 10/10 experience.

Temptresses, everyone on this island. I don't need your charity.

You're playing in the dirt and this dude talks to you about your mom. What do?

If the answer is a quiz about everything your mother was wearing, then you chose correctly. He knew all of these things because Vic took them before tossing her in a dumpster. Also just look at her grammar. Kids these days can't even spell "you" anymore. smh

Last part of the quest! Also the most difficult part due to needing Weighted Earrings.

They're doable, just fairly difficult considering my current gear. Who knows, perhaps Vic will get lucky doing the Hospital Cape for the Raggedy Cape

They're killable, at least in the small amounts Winston currently prescribed. 5 of each mask is worth it for the easy exp.

Total of 10,500 exp for about 10-15 minutes of effort. Much faster than anything else I can do.

But now it's time to find the optimal place for hunting 999 Green Mushrooms. West Rocky Mountain III has a lot, but they're also surrounded by other tough mobs. It's also hard to deal with piles unless you get creative with it. Time to hunt down Tree Dungeon, Forest Up North VI

Honestly Vic had no idea where Tree Dungeon number 6 was, but he had some decent guesses. There are a lot of trees to climb in in that map with the cat.

Nope. Take a 180 right on out of there.

As you can see, this map has a very reasonable number of spawns.

To be perfectly clear, I had absolutely no idea how long this would take Vic. I figured hey, complete this quest and post the next part in the forums.

It at least gave me time to develop a meta.

If you completely ignore the massive kill piles in the bottom of the tree, then you can pick off the half a dozen spawns in the upper half of the tree. This makes things much more manageable, you just need to clear out the initial infestations on the platforms you designate as your "safe" platforms.

There's an extra benefit of leveling up:

You completely refill your HP and MP. This means you can splurge on whatever is spare in your tank, make some rash choices, and leave yourself nearly empty.

At least there's a solid middle bit that's hard to fall through. Vic can't even imagine trying to fight this kill pit. He's more of an "Entice you off into an alley and clobber you with a brick" sort of guy.

Only about 350 Green Mushrooms to complete the set. No Panlid drop though. Other than that there is peace in the upper platforms, the spawn is very manageable with single targets to take advantage of.

Doing so slows down things considerably, and when you factor in that I made this into a potion net positive experience, you have an incredibly slow grind. There is a lot of jump-smacking, and the attacks had to be spaced properly due to the fact that the Field Dagger is a fast(3) weapons. At such speeds, regular consecutive hits are not guaranteed to knockback the enemies, you can hit them in the middle of their knockback sometimes and they simply walk into you. That's 46 damage I could prevent, so Vic added a timing to his attacks, never taking the lazy path of holding down the attack key, but making each attack an intentional barrage to lock his opponent out of striking distance.

Vic is a bad enemy to have. What he lacks in strength he makes up for in sheer determination.

Also the beginner recovery skill is pretty great. 30 MP for 72 HP with a 2 minute cooldown, this means that Vic could go for long periods of time without his chair. On average he probably got hit 2-3 times between uses. He could go 50+ kills without so much as a potion or a break. What a champ.

But ultimately 999 is too big of a session to have when you use the utmost care in taking care of your enemies. It's been a few days without an update, so this is where I'll choose to stop.

Tomorrow I'll attempt to finish the 999 Green Mushrooms, and in the process hopefully get that Panlid Vic is desperate for. Possibly hit level 28 as well.

 

Time for a smol part. Wasn't on for too long but made a ton of progress, with a decent stopping point.

All done with Slime cards. 838/999 green mushrooms finished, getting really close. Tomorrow I'll probably hunt down most of the first page cards where I can, Bubblings are still really tough considering the swarms and knockback minimums.

Do you see this little panlid? It's the culmination of many hours of work. It's a filled slot. It's another ~5 damage taken off of all incoming attacks. It is life. All it took was over a thousand mushrooms.

1 above average? Do you feel it? The dopamine rush of an amazing upgrade?

Let's toss a 70 on it.
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Resilient, the shield passes the test. It's worthy of being carried.

After eons of killing, 999 of these mushrooms have been slain. Vic is in a fever dream, delirium has overtaken him as it has all paid off. Hours of his life to complete a silly quest and unlock a shield for his non-stabbing hand.

Climbing this tree is probably the fastest way to Sleepywood. High Dark Sight is actually great for getting around, the Sleepywood hub is full of shortcuts between towns.

Was it worth it?

I doubt it.

Is anything worth doing?

Probably not.

Would have been cool if it were repeatable again. 50 red potions and 3,000 exp is a solid reward. That's like 4%.

I do end with some very powerful items. The Mapleade heals 80% hp/90% mp and gives 2 attack for 30 minutes. It's a decent buff. But this Maple Syrup - I didn't even know it existed. Looking at those stats and Vic's eyes popped out of his head. This will allow him to overcome almost any challenge, at least for a short while. He might even be able to finish off 2 King Slimes with it if he's quick about it.

 

It's been a while, hasn't it? I got rather impatient with how things are, so I had some vote2win to accomplish, and I couldn't be bothered with much else in the meantime.

Vic begins by killing some boars. Weighted Earrings and the broken glass shards for the Raggedy Cape quest are the main targets.

They're tough, but if you ignore the bottom platform there are a reasonable number of spawns to get at.

Level 28 hype. Only a couple more before Vic is forced to do KPQ, but until then there's more optimizing to do.

Part 1, finished. Part 2 with the Charms of the Undead are a little more difficult though.

Shortcuts through the sewers have their downsides. Angry alligators, an ever increasingly disgusting smell, there are no doubt many reasons to buy return scrolls.

Vic doesn't see reason though. All he knows is the poop water makes him feel funny when he spends enough time there.

These mushrooms are very painful. Between the jumping and the large kill piles, it's difficult to manage anything.

Finished the 99 Zombie Mushroom quest and didn't really want to continue with things as they were. But a jump quest to recover some MP was a nice break from all the killing.

Thanks I guess. Not the best reward, but they may come in handy in the future.

...And that's where Vic begins today after a short break. This chair is a godsend, allowing Vic to stab at such vicious rates.

Ryae You right, it seems Vic can kill Green Mushies to his heart's content. It's too bad he already has the cards and the shield, but things go boom.

Not only does it heal 100 mp, it also gives 15 hp. Between that and the beginner's Recovery skill there's a lot less time sitting around than before. Game of Thrones marathon helps too.

Another slot filled! It doesn't have defense but the 10 avoidability on it makes a noticeable difference.

And level 29. Second job and a bonus 5% mastery that comes with it will happen. Eventually.

The MP recovery makes Bubblings much more doable too. The added defense from the Panlid and whatever else I had gotten since then also helps immensely. They hit about 34 on Vic.

At this point though potions don't even feel that great. Vic has many, yet he can't stop taking a seat and relaxing. His attention span is very limited, relaxation is key to his happiness.

Those screws were useful. And the piles of wood in the inventory are also useful, it's just too bad Vic needs to walk to Perion to get it processed.

It's relatively few tree branches to make the wood. But then again it's dead content so it doesn't matter anyways.

More potions from Nella. Thanks difficult level 15 quests.

Nothing drops the Pure Water for the next quest though, so this one is technically impossible.

That's all I can really be bothered to do today though. But with this new cape it's easier than ever to gather cards and do some training. That's probably where I'll pick up next time, actually collecting cards like I said I would.

 

If you've known me long enough, I imagine you'd eventually figure out how I love stupid nonsense characters and doing my best to break the game however I can. From speedrunning levels 1-15 in order to create an army of famehoes to defeating numerous level 100+ monsters on an HP warrior, I love silly nonsense and idiot builds. Moreover I love theorycrafting them and accomplishing the impossible.

Here I am on THE CHUMP defeating the Headless Horseman some time ago. He has 3 million HP and in order to kill it, THE CHUMP had to resort to some rather silly tactics.

As you can see, he used Power Guard to kill it. Did he have any help? No. None. He took down all 3 million HP of that Headless Horseman 600 damage at a time, costing several million mesos in Honsters and like 3-4 hours of my life. Another thing of note is that he's now at 99.98%, meaning he leveled up and got max exp after that. So this meant THE CHUMP could walk into that tree on the right side, previously weakened, and instantly level up again.

8 seconds to level up. poggers.

Lately I haven't really played Vic. He's a very tough character, but I believe he'll make a return with the anniversary event coming up. He'll be wanting some daggers along with whatever potions he can hoard if the cake boxes come back. With them, he can probably make some progress.

In the meantime I came up with another silly project... That's probably why you're here anyways, seeing stupid nonsense that is both dumb and genius, all at the same time.

Meet NoTouchy. He looks pretty normal, doesn't he? About to make his advancement, plenty of dex to make his gun to boom boom. There's nothing really off about this picture.

But how about this picture?

...Brawler?

...Was it a misclick?

...It wasn't.

Look closely at the picture, and if you're clever then you'll probably understand why I made him into a Brawler.

Spoiler: NoTouchy

If your answer is because of the ton of avoidability he has, then you are right on the money. He's an avoid Brawler. And if you've paid attention to avoid, you'd know that 283 avoid at level 30 is a ton. Like a mid-level shadower/Night Lord has ~400-500 avoid.

And at level 30, NoTouchy has a significant amount. By the time he's level 70, he'll have more avoid than most endgame thieves.

Now let's go over why this is the case. Off of AyumiLove we get the formula for a character's avoid

Base Avoid:
Warriors/Magicians/Bowmen/Thieves/Beginners = DEX * 0.25 + LUK * 0.5
Pirates = DEX * 0.25 + LUK * 0.5
Brawlers = DEX * 1.5 + LUK * 0.5
Gunslingers = DEX * 0.125 + LUK * 0.5

You'll notice that one of those is rather silly. Brawlers get significantly more avoid than any other class in the game. So let's take this to its ultimate outcome. It's possible to reach 999 avoid with enough dex on a Bucc. It doesn't even take that long, he'll probably reach it before he reaches 120.

In the meantime I'll probably just get him up to level 50 though and park him at LPQ to confuse and troll people. He'll probably just be an unfinished character, like 90% of mine.


Though progress is being made. 314 avoid is nice, most mobs around my level miss around 50-80% of the time, depending on their accuracy.

There's also my accuracy to note, which will come in handy later...

 

Time for the long awaited return of everyone's favorite hobo. The event exp, combined with the chance of getting a level 43 dagger, one of 2 level 64 daggers, or a Maple Shield/Maple Thief Shield is an enticing prospect to Victoria Island's #1 homeless man.

But first I felt like testing KPQ with some randoms. The findings I had were pretty bleak. It took me 5-6 minutes to gather 10 coupons on him, and I used a lot of MP in the process. The alligators have some pretty serious defense.

I don't think it's possible for Vic to collect the King Slime cards in any meaningful way. If anything he'd just be given them if I wanted to complete it within the time limit. So I think King Slime is a set Vic will be skipping out on, partially for my sanity, partially because I really dread even attempting solo KPQs. They don't sound like fun.

I do have a fancy new chair though. Vic can now heal both HP and MP rather quickly. He can be full of both in under 2 minutes.

The Monster Book has been getting ignored for too long. It's time to start grinding out a lot of the weaker mobs. That'll be the goal for today.

On the way there though we of course want the high level bossing content.

And Vic even got a special little treat.

A very special treat for him. Insane ironman luck.

So lucky. I think I had this cape dex 10% from green mushrooms? It's that or gacha. Either way YEET.

One day something will work.

With that random Red Snail Vic has completed another set. He only needs 7 more mobs on the 1-15 page.

The ironman luck continues. Just imagine if the scroll works? 5 defense? Insane.

Vic also got a useless piece of junk from Mano. It's really just inventory waste at this point.

It was an eventful boss run. Many scrolls, a few cards, and some fat You don't have enough MP to use this skill

Here we see the most savage of beasts rip apart a snail. Look at the determination in his eyes. Look at his powerful stance, absolutely wild. The animal cares nothing for proper stabbing procedures, he steps forward with the foot opposite his stabbing hand. What awkward moves. Truly it is best to put such a creature to sleep.

Blue Snail cards are kind of difficult. For a while all Vic got were Red Snail cards.

Hot diggitty dog. Vic finally got a scroll to work. 1 more defense? Now this is an upgrade. 3 magic defense though, not sure if that'll matter for a long time.

Gonna be dropping hot gachas whenever I can. Too bad to be efficient I should drop them in Kerning.

Vic Finally stabbed his way to a Blue Snail card. It took a surprising amount of time actually.

Showing off some progress along with some other goals. Vic wants a mushroom/slime omok set along with a monster card set. He can get another 2 slots in his crowded ect inventory by completing the omok set.

Vic was called upon to FM ch5, where he met a traveling cheese salesman.

He offered cheese that pleased
Cheddar that would bed her
Brie that I could only see
Grilled cheese with a golden gild.
But Vic was out of luck
Because he is such a cuck.


Blue Snails are nearly done now. I think this one was 4/5?

And 5/5 shortly after. Got lucky with the last 2 so close to each other.

7 card sets so far. Hopefully getting tier one won't be too difficult while I work on other goals, like getting the Korean Fan.

Some more serious Ironmeme luck. This game just wants Vic to succeed.

Dagger att 10 failed btw, didn't even screenshot it

Guess what, gloves are a renewable resource. Vic can YEET that scroll on without a care in the world, he needs pig cards anyways.

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One day, Vic. One day you'll get something.