Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but you're a dog.

I wish i had a australian accent.

 

Granted, but you can only speak Gibberish

I wish I was a child again

 

Granted, but that child is born an angsty teen and dies an angstier teen.

I wish xNivx didn't disappear

 

Granted, xNivx came back, but all initial and future event/person that will/has created an opportunity for both of you to meet/talk disappear.

I wish q,z,p,x,g are the new vowels

 

Urqntzd, bgt a, e, i, o, u hqvz tqkzn thzpr ilqcz qs cxnsxnqnts qnd yxg cqn't uzt gszd tx thz wqy wxrds qrz sizlt nxw.

Spoiler

Granted, but a, e, i, o, u have taken their place as consonants and you can't get used to the way words are spelt now.

I wish I could command people to obey my orders and they would execute them the way I want them to.

 

Spoiler: Granted. Thanks for choosing the Qanu's Wish&Smile Co. Please agree with our terms to continue.

Granted, though the wishes has to be posted in a formal document describing the time when/how/where the wish should granted, necessary items/people needed to achieving that wish. The wish has to be posted by letter and to be filed and processed in the most bureaucratic way possible. All this will cost an estimated 30% of your total wealth at all times. Payment has to be right after the wish has granted or the described wish shall be undone and all recover damages shall be charged and payed within 5 days. Any altering of this contract shall be dismissed and cancel the "wishing service".

Spoiler: PS

One can wish twice per day with a maximum of 7 per week, extra wishes shall charged with an extra 5% per wish

Again thanks for doing business.

I wish androids( you know those humanoid robots) were real and friendly to humans.

 

Granted, but they unfriendly to anything else other then humans and they are program to exterminate anything they are unfriendly with.

I wish I can create things or events just by thinking about it

 

Granted, but that means every single thing / event you think about even subconsciously , will occur without your control including negative ones.

I wish I was never brought into the plane of existence .

 

Granted, but you were immediately wished back into existence with an even crappier life.

I wish I could git gud.

 

Granted, you become "git gud" in the only thing you wanted to be "git gud" at, but "git rekt" at all other aspects and life skills which can never be improve.

I wish to have the power of absolute obedience which side effects only mirrors the same power in Code Geass

 

You are granted the power of absolute obedience, but you are the one who has to obey.
I wish for infinite wishes (worth a shot, eh)

 

Granted, but those wishes will all (and still) be corrupted.

I wish every time I make a gamble on something.. I'll win.

 

Granted, but the prize is always line defected rubber ducks.
I wish for frenz ;-;

 

Granted, you'll have many frenz, but you are forever confined to the hospital bed with no way speaking, moving or even blinking. You became a "vegatable" with many frenz.

I wish every time I flip a coin, it will always lands as "head"

 

Granted, but both sides are "head" so it has no meaning at all.

I wish all revolving doors would be automatic such that you don't have to touch them.

 

Granted, but they're extremely slow. So slow that you can get stuck in one for days.
I wish people would stop raising chickens for meat and eggs, and would only raise them as happy pets

 

Granted, but all chickens become super violent and so big that they become life threatening.

I wish I had a robot that would never fail the "I am not a robot" test

 

Granted, but in exchange the human who owns that robot fails every single test (Including health test)

I wish the days are longer where nighttime are 24 hours long and day time 12 hours.

 

Granted, but you must sleep 20-24 hours a night or else you will get super tired and not function properly.
I wish I spoke Latin.

 

Granted. But the only words you know and will ever know are "Sum parum pudici pineapple"

I wish time waits for everyones