Farewell

Hi all,
read the bottom for the quick summary
So I just wanted to make this post for those that wanted to know my status and/or wanted a better (?) explanation as to why I've decided to quit playing.

Originally, when I first started playing ML, though I had started playing with a group of friends, I was mainly a solo player. Even while they were PQing together, I preferred to grind alone and essentially reached 4th job without much other player interaction. Eventually, I found myself in Essence as a result of some friendly peer pressuring by Dan and Jas, and though I was a little bit awkward about it all, I'm really thankful to them for inviting me to join and expanding my horizons in the game. However, as all guilds go, we eventually got larger, we joined an alliance that added more players into the mix, and I found that my world quickly changed from just myself to a small group of people to something much much larger than that. Personally, I felt (and still feel) a little overwhelmed by it all, even though I was able to meet and become close with a lot of people thanks to it. However, as the guild and alliance got bigger and some of my closer friends began to quit/play less, I found myself feeling a little lonely and lost amongst all the unfamiliar faces. I had never been that great at being friendly (?) or making friends, and so each friend that I had I held very precious. And so despite having been a loner from the beginning, each friend that stopped playing saddened me more and more to the point where I hadn't really felt like playing much at all. Aside from that, though this feels selfish to say, I guess as these people were special to me, I had also wanted to feel special to someone else. In the end, however, I guess I never felt like this was really the case and so I felt it would be better for me to just stop trying for my own sake.

Continuing on from that feeling, I've had a lack of motivation to actually progress in the game for quite a few months now. I would say that I'm somewhat of a perfectionist but also very lazy, and so whenever my progress got setback due to my own mistakes I felt very disheartened at the amount of time I would have to spend again either grinding, farming, or getting lucky enough to be able to achieve my goals. Eventually, I reached the point where I felt that I couldn't imagine myself really putting forth the time and effort needed to reach my goal and decided that it would be best for me to just move on. Despite it all, I don't regret setting such lofty goals, and I know that I would have been unsatisfied if I aimed any lower.

Finally, the last but maybe most important reason is that school is starting back up for me. Over the past few months, I felt that I had been very unproductive in my real life and had been brushing off a lot of real life activities and responsibilities. Personally, I felt that I hadn't been able to maintain a good balance in my life and have decided to stop playing for the foreseeable future.

Special thanks to:
Ally/Anu/Eva:

Dan: for being one of the first people to talk to me, for always being there to help me, and for trusting in me and encouraging me to take more initiative.

Willy: for being a close friend and confidant, for always giving me advice and listening to my rants, and for being my partner on DL hehe

Bryan: for putting up with my sarcasm, for always taking everything positively, and for being my Fitness "rival"

Davy/Kenny/Faisal/Jsun/Ranny/Andy: for inviting me to watch shows and play league, for hanging out with me late at night, and for the REEEEEEEEEEEEs and "xd"s

Derrick: for flaming Andy and sad times during league, for Drake, for scamming people

Jay: for drooling on yourself, for doki doki, for "we can fight this"

And to the MBAE/BEAM alliance and all those that I've gotten to know and become close with while playing ML, I'd like to thank you deeply from the bottom of my heart. For welcoming me and treating me kindly, to helping me and making me laugh, thank you.

Quick summary:
Some personal reasons, a lot of friends that have quit, lack of motivation for the game, school starting again. I may be back in the future. Thanks everyone!

 

I get a new rank each time Bryan misses a HT run Kappa