Alright listen up you beautiful, beautiful buccaneers

Aren't you sick of all of the memes about your broke-ass class?

1. How you're so much more than a Speed Infusion and Time Leap robot, you are actually a sentient being with thoughts and feelings and hopes and DREAMS?
   
   
2. How you get slapped around with a poor man's stance while you're riding your keyboard like a prodigy playing the piano every time you just want to sit back and "Horntail with the boys maaan"?
   
   
3. How your Maple livelihood is being threatened by pay-to-win tryhards who bought 130 levels of leech to replace you and your buffs in bossing with a high avoid dex bucc MULE? Who even comes up with this shit anyways?

Okay simmer down damn. I need you to relax. Everything's gonna be okay.

This is exactly why I have gathered all of you here today. For the last hour I was supposed to be writing things to make money in real life, but instead I wrote this to make virtual currency in a fading mushroom game. That's how crucial this message is.

• What if I could tell you that you don't have to be a meme victim EVER again…
  
  
• That I can provide you with the single tool you need to be a Big Dick Buccaneer…
  
• You'd be like "DAMN, I want IN. How can I drink me some of that JUICE."

Well, it's time to feast your eyes clowns. Bring them beady little sleep-deprived eyes right here. Closer. Feast em real good.

This is the SINGLE ITEM you need to slap the memers through your screen one by one, straight upside their sweaty, sweaty faces. This is what you've been waiting for. You've dreamed about it, and now it's right here looking you in your sweaty, sweaty face.



If your mouth is looking like D: or O: or @:, you're damn right it does. Close your mouth dude.

It doesn't get better than this. This is that primo shit, 104 attack with two slots, five 30% scrolls on an absolutely pristine and perfect clean king cent. You don't see this shit everyday. In fact I know you haven't seen shit like this for MONTHS. Because nobody in their right mind would 30% something five times straight.

The odds of landing 30% 5/5 times are closer to zero than 1%. You're like, this dude clearly doesn't believe in math. This dude needs to request a perma-ban, go back to school, and re-evaluate his life.

"Wait Blu, seriously what kind of adrenaline-chasing idiot would use another 30% after this was already +4?

Why didn't you just sell it like that so you could've spared us this wildly obnoxious forum post?"​

SILENCE CLOWNS. I item smega'd and posted in the Free Market discord that +4 piece of fine ass modern art multiple times daily for WEEKS. There are dozens of screenshots in my recycling bin as we SPEAK.

Not a single one of you offered. Actually someone offered 200 mil, so I blacklisted and mass defamed them immediately. Instead, some of you offered some snarky, two-bit commentary like "imagine scrolling a knuckler : omegalul :" and "time to 30 it again : pepesmile :". Boy what's wrong with you? What do those words surrounded by colons even mean??

But I wasn't gonna go out like that. You already knew this. So I used the super-hot-super-secret-bulletproof-scrolling-ritual taught to me by the legendary bishop that is Asahina and here we are.

Sure nobody can actually see the attack on your shiny ass knuckler. You might have to remind your buddies and guildies daily, and use all your washing NX to flex via item smega to get the respect you DESERVE. But YOU will know that you're hot shit. YOU will know that you're the balling owner of one gnarly knuckler.

Isn't that what matters most? Know your worth KING.

I'm willing to sell this +5 perfect king cent with two slots for just 2 billion mesos. I'm accepting items, white scrolls, and chaos scrolls. I've already done the hard work for you, all you need to do is buy two White Scrolls and two Knuckler att 10% scrolls and BELIEVE.

Ask anyone who's anyone, this is not only a fair price but a sweet, sweet deal. This price is more fair than the carnival you clowns came from. Even if you value a +4 perfect king cent at just 600 mil, though one sold for over 900 damn mil several weeks ago, this price of 2 billion mesos is still SO good.

And it will make you, oh SO good.

And I know you don't have the mesos to buy this shit. Otherwise I could have saved all of us some time. You'd be rocking it right now, strutting around Maple Legends channel 1 Free Market without an NX cover, talking to complete strangers and "accidentally" using dragonstrike, giving money to fake noobs, walking a little bit DIFFERENT.

But if you do have the mesos, or you want to start going HARD to get the mesos, you can PM me on discord so that I can rest assured that I didn't make this beautiful piece of trash for nothing.

Are you ready to start slaving your Maple life away and saving for the knuckler of your DREAMS?

It's time baby.

~~~~~~~~~~~​

Totally Fabricated Testimonials from ML's TOP Buccaneers:

InMyPrime - "Wow yes I'm kind of shook but can confirm this is indeed for swole buccaneers only"

oxLuffyxo - "I may be a lvl 200 Echo mule who can Time Leap my own Echo, but this is what would make me a swole buccaneer"

iPippy - "Damn if I wasn't already such a swole buccaneer, I would buy this so I could be a swole buccaneer doe"

[update 8/21 - this knuckler sold for half of the initial ask, at 1b. smh]