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Alright listen up you beautiful, beautiful buccaneers

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blu301, Jul 13, 2020.

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  1. Blu301
    Offline

    Blu301 Pac Pinky

    189
    127
    196
    May 20, 2019
    Male
    East Coast, USA
    12:31 AM
    Blu301
    Shadower
    200
    Summer
    Aren't you sick of all of the memes about your broke-ass class?

    1. How you're so much more than a Speed Infusion and Time Leap robot, you are actually a sentient being with thoughts and feelings and hopes and DREAMS?

    2. How you get slapped around with a poor man's stance while you're riding your keyboard like a prodigy playing the piano every time you just want to sit back and "Horntail with the boys maaan"?

    3. How your Maple livelihood is being threatened by pay-to-win tryhards who bought 130 levels of leech to replace you and your buffs in bossing with a high avoid dex bucc MULE? Who even comes up with this shit anyways?

    Okay simmer down damn. I need you to relax. Everything's gonna be okay.

    This is exactly why I have gathered all of you here today. For the last hour I was supposed to be writing things to make money in real life, but instead I wrote this to make virtual currency in a fading mushroom game. That's how crucial this message is.

    • What if I could tell you that you don't have to be a meme victim EVER again…

    • That I can provide you with the single tool you need to be a Big Dick Buccaneer…
    • You'd be like "DAMN, I want IN. How can I drink me some of that JUICE."

    Well, it's time to feast your eyes clowns. Bring them beady little sleep-deprived eyes right here. Closer. Feast em real good.

    This is the SINGLE ITEM you need to slap the memers through your screen one by one, straight upside their sweaty, sweaty faces. This is what you've been waiting for. You've dreamed about it, and now it's right here looking you in your sweaty, sweaty face.

    upload_2020-7-13_14-6-27.png

    If your mouth is looking like D: or O: or @:, you're damn right it does. Close your mouth dude.

    It doesn't get better than this. This is that primo shit, 104 attack with two slots, five 30% scrolls on an absolutely pristine and perfect clean king cent. You don't see this shit everyday. In fact I know you haven't seen shit like this for MONTHS. Because nobody in their right mind would 30% something five times straight.

    The odds of landing 30% 5/5 times are closer to zero than 1%. You're like, this dude clearly doesn't believe in math. This dude needs to request a perma-ban, go back to school, and re-evaluate his life.

    "Wait Blu, seriously what kind of adrenaline-chasing idiot would use another 30% after this was already +4?

    Why didn't you just sell it like that so you could've spared us this wildly obnoxious forum post?"

    SILENCE CLOWNS. I item smega'd and posted in the Free Market discord that +4 piece of fine ass modern art multiple times daily for WEEKS. There are dozens of screenshots in my recycling bin as we SPEAK.

    Not a single one of you offered. Actually someone offered 200 mil, so I blacklisted and mass defamed them immediately. Instead, some of you offered some snarky, two-bit commentary like "imagine scrolling a knuckler : omegalul :" and "time to 30 it again : pepesmile :". Boy what's wrong with you? What do those words surrounded by colons even mean??

    But I wasn't gonna go out like that. You already knew this. So I used the super-hot-super-secret-bulletproof-scrolling-ritual taught to me by the legendary bishop that is Asahina and here we are.

    Sure nobody can actually see the attack on your shiny ass knuckler. You might have to remind your buddies and guildies daily, and use all your washing NX to flex via item smega to get the respect you DESERVE. But YOU will know that you're hot shit. YOU will know that you're the balling owner of one gnarly knuckler.

    Isn't that what matters most? Know your worth KING.

    I'm willing to sell this +5 perfect king cent with two slots for just 2 billion mesos. I'm accepting items, white scrolls, and chaos scrolls. I've already done the hard work for you, all you need to do is buy two White Scrolls and two Knuckler att 10% scrolls and BELIEVE.

    Ask anyone who's anyone, this is not only a fair price but a sweet, sweet deal. This price is more fair than the carnival you clowns came from. Even if you value a +4 perfect king cent at just 600 mil, though one sold for over 900 damn mil several weeks ago, this price of 2 billion mesos is still SO good.

    And it will make you, oh SO good.

    And I know you don't have the mesos to buy this shit. Otherwise I could have saved all of us some time. You'd be rocking it right now, strutting around Maple Legends channel 1 Free Market without an NX cover, talking to complete strangers and "accidentally" using dragonstrike, giving money to fake noobs, walking a little bit DIFFERENT.

    But if you do have the mesos, or you want to start going HARD to get the mesos, you can PM me on discord so that I can rest assured that I didn't make this beautiful piece of trash for nothing.

    Are you ready to start slaving your Maple life away and saving for the knuckler of your DREAMS?

    It's time baby.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~​

    Totally Fabricated Testimonials from ML's TOP Buccaneers:

    InMyPrime - "Wow yes I'm kind of shook but can confirm this is indeed for swole buccaneers only"

    oxLuffyxo - "I may be a lvl 200 Echo mule who can Time Leap my own Echo, but this is what would make me a swole buccaneer"

    iPippy - "Damn if I wasn't already such a swole buccaneer, I would buy this so I could be a swole buccaneer doe"

    [update 8/21 - this knuckler sold for half of the initial ask, at 1b. smh]
     
    • Funny x 21
    • Great Work x 8
    • Disagree x 3
    • Like x 2
    • Agree x 2
    • Useful x 1
    • Creative x 1
  2. HollyCrap
    Offline

    HollyCrap Capt. Latanica

    399
    51
    273
    Jul 2, 2017
    Male
    1:31 AM
    HollyCrap
    Cleric
    Wtf did I just read?
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
  3. -ovv
    Offline

    -ovv Horntail

    2,360
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    Feb 23, 2020
    Male
    9:31 PM
    -ovv
    Beginner
    200
    Honor
    Some dexbucc should go and buy this for the memes.
     
  4. cakesogood
    Offline

    cakesogood Windraider

    422
    54
    301
    Oct 2, 2017
    Male
    Japan
    12:31 PM
    Demun, kokushibo
    Hero
    200
    Honor
    i offer 205m for this knuckle. I think with this I can increase dpm attacking with my dex bucc mule.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  5. Midnight
    Offline

    Midnight Skelegon

    946
    662
    413
    Jan 2, 2015
    12:31 AM
    Midnight/TheMorrigan
    Dragon Knight, Assassin
    120
    WeenieHutJrs
    Holy crap, what else do you sell?
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  6. OP
    OP
    Blu301
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    Blu301 Pac Pinky

    189
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    May 20, 2019
    Male
    East Coast, USA
    12:31 AM
    Blu301
    Shadower
    200
    Summer
    BUY THE KNUCKLER TO FIND OUT
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  7. OP
    OP
    Blu301
    Offline

    Blu301 Pac Pinky

    189
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    196
    May 20, 2019
    Male
    East Coast, USA
    12:31 AM
    Blu301
    Shadower
    200
    Summer
    More Like Dreams *_______*
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  8. yogurtseller
    Offline

    yogurtseller Mixed Golem

    151
    117
    178
    Nov 28, 2017
    9:31 PM
    wholesomeABG
    Shadower
    200m
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
  9. PrettyLights
    Offline

    PrettyLights Timer

    114
    40
    115
    Oct 11, 2017
    9:31 PM
  10. Fishy
    Offline

    Fishy Skelegon Retired Staff

    923
    304
    403
    Apr 8, 2017
    Male
    9:31 PM
    Eiji
    Dark Knight
    200
    Beaters
    the story itself/post was more beautiful than this item
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  11. Alpines
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    Alpines Red Snail

    9
    1
    16
    Nov 3, 2018
    Male
    12:31 AM
    Alpines
    Bowmaster
    150
    Spirit
    lowkey my scrolling god in disguise i look up to. I would buy it if i was rich. MapleF3
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  12. Nise
    Offline

    Nise Supervisor Staff Member Supervisor Game Moderator

    2,064
    699
    500
    Jul 5, 2017
    Male
    Korea
    1:31 PM
    NoraONE
    Corsair
    189
    Sweetdreams
    Wait.. why isn't this in the free market thread? Jebaited ... T-T
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  13. AzamatBagato
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    AzamatBagato Timer

    106
    29
    125
    Jul 19, 2017
    Male
    Sweden
    6:31 AM
    AzamatBagato
    Thief
    190
    Demure
    Hahahah this was pricelesssss
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
  14. Slime
    Offline

    Slime Pixel Artist Retired Staff

    642
    1,185
    381
    Apr 8, 2015
    Male
    Israel
    7:31 AM
    Slime / OmokTeacher
    Beginner
    102
    Flow
    30% again.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Disagree Disagree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  15. OP
    OP
    Blu301
    Offline

    Blu301 Pac Pinky

    189
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    May 20, 2019
    Male
    East Coast, USA
    12:31 AM
    Blu301
    Shadower
    200
    Summer
    R>mass defame train for mans
     
  16. Lin
    Offline

    Lin Headless Horseman

    782
    868
    386
    Feb 27, 2017
    Male
    Singapore
    12:31 PM
    Linny,BangHero,Carbide
    Paladin
    200
    Bonk
    So is this a sales thread? Hit me up when you do the same thing to a 120 attk Crushed Skull :)
     
  17. iLovKimberly
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    iLovKimberly Headless Horseman

    807
    398
    372
    Feb 23, 2017
    Male
    Malaysia
    12:31 PM
    Tsukishima/ItamiYouji
    Islander, Bishop
    Halcyon
    Tsuki tsuki defame service at your service
     
    • Funny Funny x 1

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